I'm Happy!

Happiness is:

• selling oranges
• new jewelry
• chicken nuggets
• naps
• smiling friends
• JC's amazing umbrella! (right Josh?)
• country dancing
• seeing Brinana
• shoulder shrugging
• cheesy smiles
• endless giggles
• peach chap-stick
• more dancing
• spinning
• water
• making up dance moves
• finding apology presents on my windshield
• Denny's
• french toast
• laughter
• intercepted hugs
• spinning hugs
• great music in the car
• almost Chinese fire-drills
• having wonderful friends

I have so much that brings me happiness!  This is all in just one day!  I am so blessed.  

Faith in Him

Life can be really tough sometimes.  I am slowly learning that if it weren't tough I would not be as happy as I am.  Tears mean I have feelings.  I am alive.  There is air going through my nose.  Sometimes I try to make myself not feel anything, to become a cold, metallic robot.  Truth is I would rather have emotions.  Numbness can be worse than heartbreak.

Sometimes people come into your life.  You don't know why but you are drawn to them.  Things happen and you wonder what their purpose was in your life.  I have been focusing so long on how these people have hurt me and that has done me no good.  Heavenly Father is trying to show me how to have faith in Him.  If I focus on that and not the pain of the hurtful things that have been done to me, the life lessons I will learn will be much more valuable.

He knows what I need.  He knows who I need.  I just need to have faith that He will get me where I need to be.  It is hard to put my life in someone else's hands, but I can think of no better hands, not even my own, that will lead my life to success and eternal life.

Following His plan may lead to some loss of friendships and loss of a relationship, but I need to follow Him if I want to be happy

Emotions

Life can be a funny thing.  The mood you are in can change very quickly.  I have mood swings.  I am a woman.  I don't think they are that bad, but I guess maybe they are.  I remember once being told by a guy that I can get medicine to help me control my emotions (one day he wanted to marry me and the next he wouldn't even talk to me so I thought my emotions were very rational, but I guess not.)  This whole week I have been very happy, more happy than I have been for a long time.  Today has been weird.

I don't know if it is the moon or the rain, but I have been up and down all day.  All morning while I was teaching I was so happy.  I left the school, still happy.  Somewhere between the junior high and my house my spirits sank.  I started thinking about how you can feel so important to someone and then all of a sudden they are moving on in their life without you and they are doing just fine.  Don't ask me where this thought process came from because I honestly couldn't tell you.

Sitting at my house was not helping so I went to see my mom at her school.  Walking into the elementary was like a catalyst to my happy emotions.  My mom's students are just so excited to be at school and it just rubs off onto you.

You know those texting conversations you have where you feel like you have something important to say to someone but they obviously would rather do anything but text you; you can just really tell.  That happened.  Sitting in my mom's kindergarten room.  It is silly, but it was painful.

I came home feeling broken, like I couldn't even begin to control the emotions I was feeling.  Emotions that really had no logical source.  I went for a walk with my mom.  It helped but not a lot.  So I did what every girl does when they are in this type of mood.  I watched a chick-flick.  I was smart and picked The Vow.  I cried from the very beginning before anything even happens all the way to the end (the twistedly happy ending) and now I sit here.  Controlling my emotions with my trusty Book of Mormon by my side.  I am excited to see what lesson Heavenly Father wants me to learn tonight.  Maybe it will explain this weird day.

Uncle Mark

Remember all the times you came to visit?  How much fun we had?
Remember swimming and how you would dunk us?
Remember driving Emily, Shawn and I around Mesa? And taking our pictures on the big pink chair?
Remember playing volley ball with us, even though none of us are very coordinated?
Remember all the times you would hold your grandchildren and great nieces and nephews? How I would watch and see the love that you have for them all?
Remember the time you came to visit our house and told us about when you were courting aunt Roxanne? And showed us some of the special places in our backyard?
Remember when we had a family talent show?  And how "talented" this family is?
Remember all the times we went to fireworks?
Remember how you gave the best hugs of any of my uncles?

I remember.  I always will.  I love you Uncle Mark.  I am going to miss you a lot, but I know Heavenly Father has given us a way to be together forever.  I know I will be able to see you again.  Isn't that the best news in the whole entire universe?