Emotions

Life can be a funny thing.  The mood you are in can change very quickly.  I have mood swings.  I am a woman.  I don't think they are that bad, but I guess maybe they are.  I remember once being told by a guy that I can get medicine to help me control my emotions (one day he wanted to marry me and the next he wouldn't even talk to me so I thought my emotions were very rational, but I guess not.)  This whole week I have been very happy, more happy than I have been for a long time.  Today has been weird.

I don't know if it is the moon or the rain, but I have been up and down all day.  All morning while I was teaching I was so happy.  I left the school, still happy.  Somewhere between the junior high and my house my spirits sank.  I started thinking about how you can feel so important to someone and then all of a sudden they are moving on in their life without you and they are doing just fine.  Don't ask me where this thought process came from because I honestly couldn't tell you.

Sitting at my house was not helping so I went to see my mom at her school.  Walking into the elementary was like a catalyst to my happy emotions.  My mom's students are just so excited to be at school and it just rubs off onto you.

You know those texting conversations you have where you feel like you have something important to say to someone but they obviously would rather do anything but text you; you can just really tell.  That happened.  Sitting in my mom's kindergarten room.  It is silly, but it was painful.

I came home feeling broken, like I couldn't even begin to control the emotions I was feeling.  Emotions that really had no logical source.  I went for a walk with my mom.  It helped but not a lot.  So I did what every girl does when they are in this type of mood.  I watched a chick-flick.  I was smart and picked The Vow.  I cried from the very beginning before anything even happens all the way to the end (the twistedly happy ending) and now I sit here.  Controlling my emotions with my trusty Book of Mormon by my side.  I am excited to see what lesson Heavenly Father wants me to learn tonight.  Maybe it will explain this weird day.

Let's Play Catch-up

It has been a crazy two weeks!  Two Mondays ago my uncle Mark had a stroke and on Wednesday he left us to go be with our Father in Heaven.  On Saturday our family caravanned down to Arizona for the funeral and to see our family.  This trip was very long and emotional but one of the best experiences I have ever had.       It was amazing to see how blessed our family is even in a time that should be tragic.  Sunday we spent the evening at the viewing.  The strength of my aunt Roxanne and all of my cousins helped me a lot.  I have a favorite cousin.  His name is Shawn.  We get along really well even though he is 3 almost 4 years younger than me.  I don't get to see him often because he lives in Mesa, but it just makes the times I do see him that much more special.  Even though he does not have his dad with him here on this earth, he has found numerous blessings that have come from Uncle Mark's death.  I think my tears from this trip dried me out for a few months.

Monday after the funeral we left for Saint George.  We stayed with my great aunt and uncle.  While we were driving there I got a phone call from my very good friend Shannon.  She is also a FACS teacher.  She got a full time position at another school and wanted to talk to me about applying for her job at Wahlquist Jr. High.   I called the principle the next day and set up an interview.  This last Thursday I went in for my interview and by 3 pm that day I had a teaching job!  I am really excited and nervous.  School starts Wednesday.  I have never taught junior high before.  Yesterday I spent the day in new teacher meetings and met all of the CTE people for the district.  I know I am in the right place.  Growing up in this district brings a lot of comfort to me because I am already familiar with the people I will be working with.  After my meetings I spent some time in my new classroom.  I have a feeling this is going to be a crazy ride!

You know what I have learned from all of this? God has a timeline for us.  We may not understand it or like it, but He knows where we need to be.  After all of the heartbreak and disappointment of the summer He has led me to what I really should be doing.

Uncle Mark

Remember all the times you came to visit?  How much fun we had?
Remember swimming and how you would dunk us?
Remember driving Emily, Shawn and I around Mesa? And taking our pictures on the big pink chair?
Remember playing volley ball with us, even though none of us are very coordinated?
Remember all the times you would hold your grandchildren and great nieces and nephews? How I would watch and see the love that you have for them all?
Remember the time you came to visit our house and told us about when you were courting aunt Roxanne? And showed us some of the special places in our backyard?
Remember when we had a family talent show?  And how "talented" this family is?
Remember all the times we went to fireworks?
Remember how you gave the best hugs of any of my uncles?

I remember.  I always will.  I love you Uncle Mark.  I am going to miss you a lot, but I know Heavenly Father has given us a way to be together forever.  I know I will be able to see you again.  Isn't that the best news in the whole entire universe?

Looking at the good side

Today has not been the best day ever, but I have enjoyed it much more because I have focused on the good side of life.
#1- working at 7 has really helped me make the most of the summer.  I would sleep away my mornings without it.
#2- Thursdays mean I don't work the next day.
#3- I have some great guys that will back me up if I need them.
#4- Friends are confusing, and sometimes they cause pain, but it is nice to have friends that provide so many blessings in my life.
#5- My neighborhood is the biggest/best support system ever!  They all actually care about my life and hope for the best for me.
#6- There are always fabulous treats at Relief Society activities
#7- I live in the United States of America.  I have so many blessings from that. And we have an amazing Olympic team!  How can you not smile after watching Gabby?