"Ms. Judkins! My Water Broke!"

Pregnancy unit in Child Development = electronic babies and pregnancy bellies.  This sure has been and is going to continue to be interesting.  Today in my first class I picked on two guys and one girl to try on the bellies.  They had a lot of fun walking around and of course the guys love touching the new bumps on their chest.  (Mature high school students)

So I am helping the last girl get her belly on.  It takes a bit to Velcro everything in place.  From  the front of the room I hear "Ms. Judkins! My water broke!"  Yup, one of the boys had water all down the front of his pants.  The cap to the water pouch inside the belly had come party off.  The poor boy literally looked like he wet himself.  A lot.  Let's just say he is getting some major extra credit.

So the rest of the day was going great today.  Adult Roles came.  We talked about divorce today.  Super touchy subject for my classes because 98% of them have dealt with divorce directly.  Crazy I know.  So remember the mock wedding we had a few weeks ago?  Well it was time for me to divorce the lovely couple.  I am in the middle of my lesson when the school police officer walks in.  "I am here to see (we will call this student Howard) Howard." I look over and Howard's face is white.  He looks so scared!  The officer says he has some paper for Howard.  And then the officer adds they are divorce papers.  This is when my class catches on.  I had planned for this to happen.  I just didn't plan on my student almost going into shock because he was SOOO scared.  Note to self, if I ever do this activity again I need to make sure the student I am doing it to does not have previous history with the school officer.

Being a teacher can be pretty entertaining.

The Dating Life of Anonymous: Episode 1

*So I have a friend, a close guy friend.  He has dating issues.  It is entertaining.  I have decided to do a weekly episode of his life.  Enjoy!

Episode 1

Anon (short for anonymous) has always had interesting luck with girls.  Ever since I met him he has always been... lets just say girl crazy!   In high school he was in love with a lot of different girls.  It was hard to keep up with.

Here is his statement:

"It's that time of the month.  I have cycles.  

For two weeks I hate girls and then for two 

weeks I can't get enough of them."

Lets start with a history of his dating life:

1. Anon's first girlfriend, lovingly referred to as "slut face" cheated on him while they were dating, with his coworker, and got her pregnant.
2. Pebbles is number two.  This relationship lasted for quite a while.  She was really good at kissing (according to Anon).  He went on a mission and what happens? What always happens!  She got married to a different guy.
3. One of my favorites of his relationships was Popcorn.  Anon met Popcorn through his older sister.  They also liked kissing.  A lot.  They had issues.  Most confusing relationship ever seen on planet earth.  Let's just say they were and weren't dating quite often.  It was super confusing.  We spent my birthday listening to Anon rant about this one.

This episode now begins with Cuddles.  Anon and Cuddles both have a hard time dealing with peer pressure.  They were told to cuddle the first time they hung out and what did they do? CUDDLED! Duh!  And then for the next two weeks they cuddled until 4 in the morning.  Anon says he lost a lot of sleep (wink wink).  Then they went on dates and more dates.

So Anon and Cuddles had a DTR and they aren't officially dating.  So what do you think this means to Anon? Fine! Makeout with EVERYONE!  Yep, that is what he did.

ok.

Maybe not quite everyone.

Maybe just one other girl.

But then he cuddled with an other girl.  (These two instances have happened in the last 36 hours)

Let's get back to Makeout Girl.  First of all I think you all need to know this little detail.  Anon had just gone for a run, therefore, he was dressed in his running spandex.  Very interesting.  So Makeout Girl tells him to come over.  It was midnight.  There is a reason you don't go over to someones apartment late.  Interesting things always happen late at night.  This next part is a direct quote from Anon.  "So she went like 95 and then like 3 more so I went 2 and then 110." And then he used the equation to get her on bottom.  The Tickle.  The Turn.  The Flip.  Much better.  (Guys!  He truly said this.  I have two other witnesses)

So then, next day, Anon is hanging out with yet another girl.  They decided to basically cuddle.  (basically cuddling means that he had his arm around her back and her head was on his shoulder.  Not quite cuddling but basically.)

Can you say COMMITMENT ISSUES??!!!!

Stay tuned for the next episode of The Dating Life Anonymous.

The Single Life: Speed Dating Edition

I think someone should do a formal study on singles wards.  I love people watching and going to singles activities can really be a great place to do this.  Dating can be an awkward thing and it becomes more awkward in a church setting, but it sure is exciting to watch!

If your dating life isn't awkward enough I suggest Speed Dating.  I wonder who invented this concept.  I mean, really.   If people keep doing it, it must be working for some people somewhere. 

A description of my night:

• The awkward moment when the guy keeps saying your name while he talks to you and you have already forgotten his name....
• Asking a guy if he is going to school or working and he answers "I am a gamer" (what does that term really mean? cause it screams "I am a life waster" to me)
• The embarrassing moment when the guy knows your name already and tells you about a memory they have of you and you don't remember them AT ALL!
• The embarrassing moment when a boy you were in love with in junior high sits down and doesn't even know who you are
• The guy who really connected with the girl right before you and continues to talk to her after he moves to the seat across from you...

A description of the things I observed:

• Girl interested, guy not but he is too nice to stop talking to her
• Young, flirty girls attract old, equally flirty men
• Stalking at its finest
• There are usually 2 girls for every guy at church events
•  I'm only 22 and I am already one of the "old" women
• Girls eat less ice cream in front of guys

Oh the fun adventures of the single life.  I have plenty to share.

Also, a little tip for the guys:
Never ever tell a girl how many girlfriends you have had.  It is not something that impresses us.

Teaching Kids about Reproduction

I had the awkward wonderful awesome funny experience of teaching reproduction to my high school students.  My background knowledge of this is very limited (duh) to what is found in textbooks and discussed in college classes.  I was a little bit nervous for the questions they might ask, but I actually had almost all the answers!

*Warning*
Don't continue reading if this topic makes you uncomfortable.

Did you know that the epididymis in a man is a mile long? CRAZY!

You CANNOT get pregnant by sitting in a hot tub with a boy.  It is not possible.  This is why students should not believe everything they hear on Glee.

Dr. Pepper does not make your reproductive organs smell "good"

Yes, women can die in child birth from pushing too hard.  I don't know all the science but it can cut off a nerve in the brain stem.  (This led to a short discussion on how Elvis really could have died while going to the bathroom)

Caffeine mutates sperm.  It is true.

There are many more questions we discussed but I don't feel like those are appropriate to tell you.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me!  I am becoming quite the reproduction expert.

Family

No matter who you are or what faith you are these messages apply to everyone!

Just Another Manic Monday

My version of the song:


Five o'clock already 
I was just in the middle of a dream 
I was kissin' Channing Tatum  
By a crystal blue Italian stream 
But I can't be late 
'Cause then I guess I just won't get paid (I don't.  I pay to be there)
These are the days 
When you wish your bed was already made 

It's just another manic Monday 
I wish it was Sunday 
'Cause that's my funday 
My I don't have to runday 
It's just another manic Monday 

Have to head out early today 
Got to get some gas in the car
And if I had an air-o-plane 
I still couldn't make it on time 
'Cause it takes me so long 
Just to figure out what I'm gonna wear 
Blame it on the traffic
But the boss is already there 


(I couldn't make this verse apply because I don't have a lover...)
All of the nights 
Why did my lover have to pick last night 
To get down 
Doesn't it matter 
That I have to feed the both of us 
Employment's down 
He tells me in his bedroom voice 
C'mon honey, let's go make some noise 
Time it goes so fast 
When you're having fun 

Two more things to tell you all:

1. Today was my very first Parent Teacher Conferences.  I sure lucked out.  I had not upset parents.  Only 15 actually came.  They fed me sloppy joes.

2. Tonight was my first FHE in my new ward.  We wrote to prisoners.  How you may ask.... well ever heard of http://www.writeaprisoner.com/ ?  You can go on there and find someone to write to.  It is very interesting to read through the profiles, very very interesting.

Have you written to a prisoner this week?

I am His Daughter

It is DANCIN time!

Interior Design and Line Dancing don't usually go in the same sentence.  Well, today they do!

Today we talked about the element of design LINE.  I was thinking to myself how do I find an activity that gets my students excited about line?

SOLUTION:
LINE dancing! Duh!  We added streamers to the mix and we had all kinds of line created.  I even taught my class how to do the Hoedown Throwdown (thank goodness Liz and I made learning that a priority in college).

I am excited to have a great weekend!  It is my wonderful cousin's birthday.  She will be 18!  Happy birthday T!

Here is a little song we sang in Child Development today.  I hope it gets you in the Valentines mood!

(sung to Clementine)

Find a paper

Get a crayon

Draw a heart

Write a rhyme 

Put a smile on your face 

Give it to your valentine!

Go. Go. Go.
No time to breath
Sometimes I let go of the rope
It is hard to hold on
Suddenly
It all pauses
Now I notice I am tired
Now I feel my body ache
Suddenly
Life takes off again
Somehow I will have to survive.

Sweet 16 Em

Well.  My sister is getting old!  She turns 16 today.  We had a party for her yesterday to celebrate.

Me with the birthday girl

We played life size The Game of Life.  It was pretty dang fun.

Some of the adventures on the way to retirement

After the party I went on a date.  We saw Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows.  It was pretty good.  I have to say the first was better, but this one was full of laughs and action.

Wig Pictures

Wigs

Today I had the wonderful opportunity to sleep in an extra hour.  I am judging STAR Events for FCCLA at Weber State and have a substitute for my classes.  Last night I was excited that I could sleep in a little bit!
REALITY CHECK!  My body is so well adjusted to my new sleeping schedule and I automatically woke up at 5.  I am very much awake and it is the kind of awake where you can't fall back asleep.  So now I have some time to kill.

Last night I had a little bit of fun.  I got home from the school and picked up my sister and we went over to our cousins' house.  Lydia discovered a bag of wigs.  Colorful ones.   So we decided to wear them.  All over North Ogden.  And about the only person that would talk to us was the pharmacist at Smiths.

Pictures to come when my dear auntie sends them to me.

Wedding Day!

The best part about teaching is finding things I can do with my students to get them up out of their seats and having fun.  Today was one of those days.  Two of my classes today held mock weddings.  IT WAS SO FUN!  The students basically planned it all and ran the whole thing.  We had vows read, rings exchanged, and even toasting.  It was a blast!  The best part is my students now understand how much work a wedding is and what kind of a commitment it is.

Sadly I cannot post pictures of them on this blog because it isn't legal, but just take my word for it! It was fantastic!  Best part about it is that some students actually brought wedding cake and snacks so we were able to have a great party!  The day was ended with watching Father of the Bride.  Such a great movie!